How I long
How I long to not know anything
to be guided by the gentle expansion of nothing
another human’s eyes resonating neither right not wrong
simply to see beautiful eyes looking back at me
How much does my heart beat its wisdom of unknowing
Its gentle path whispering like a sweet song on the wind
A breathless wonder echoing in my ears
How I long to not know anything at all
But to simply listen to what is not even here.
Measures, manages, governs our every action
And in that moment we forget to listen
To listen to the blades of grass rustling in the wind
To listen to the earth’s heart beat,
to it’s steady solid rhythm,
Or to the wind calling us to come home
It’s time, just for a moment, to put down Time,
our clocks, our watches, our mobile phones
And instead to stop, to breath, to listen
All the worlds live in that moment
When the starling takes flight
and our hearts begin to sing.
Soft music fills the world,
The drum of the heart beat
Each moment of every day
and given like a gift,
I stand in the doorway of this day
and the tomorrow of another dream,
My backpack full to the brim with gifts from yesterdays tale.
Enchanted by the sunlight on the otherside
I put it down,
with nothing but the tears of today’s sorrows
and the joy of a lightened load.
The Beginning of Motherhood
I forgot my soul
the moment the labour contractions began,
the moment the rise of motherhood burst through my exhausted body.
I forgot her
and she curled up in the bottom of the wardrobe of my life
and fell asleep,
Occasionally she peers out and pulls on my heart
reminding me of myself for just a second,
but then motherhood returns, knocking loudly on the door
and once again the cloudiness of forgetting covers my soul.
I become consumed by another,
who needs my full attention and love for their own survival.
exhausting to the core
Before I know it, this moment will be over,
my child will grow,
my soul will uncurl herself,
stretch her sleepy arms
and rise back into the centre of me
I will remember her once again
Learning to Live
I know darkness
I have drunk from the fiery waters that consumed my every being
I have touched the darkness of an empty cavern, so vast I could have drowned
I have fought against it, run from it, died within it and survived
I have screamed and cried and spent my days hiding under a duvet in the hope
I would wake up to another life, another mind… and survived
I have turned, turned towards that darkness and found a door on the other side,
I have walked into another life,
walked with sun beating on my face, where my shadows
and fears danced on the street next to me,
a little softer than before
I know darkness and I know how to live, to love, to feel the sorrow and the joy that courses through my body. I have more than survived.
What is it that opens up the edges of beyond?
sending us spiralling into the unknown
how do we stand and flow in the same breath
allowing nothing to be and everything
the fullness of our joy, from the deepest most lonely thoughts,
our darkest shadow shining light that we thought we never saw
The edges of our being, the limits of our mind
take a chance, take a risk and become alive.
Grief Touches My Heart
Grief touches my heart,
and it opens
the closeness of sorrow
is not a darkness,
nor a cloud thick with rain.
it is an invitation to the possibility of living
of loving beyond the shadow of my own being
What is loss if not the recognition of love?
What is living
If not the trepidatious exploration of the cliff edge of